Life piles up. Sometimes you feel like you can handle it, but most of the time you’re faking it till ya make it. “Making it” is different for a lot of people, I prefer to give myself small “Making It” high-fives during the week. Many would consider these goals and in one sense they are but sometimes even the word goal can wear a person out, because at one point or another it becomes a task and not something you’re doing because you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you didn’t.
These past few weeks have been a crazy emotional rollercoaster. I decided after I graduated High School back in May I was going to take at least a semester off to work and produce a my feature film project FRUITION HARD LINE. There were a lot of people who questioned this idea, including myself. Deep in my gut I doubted I was making the right decision. Was I scared of change? Not measuring up? Could I handle the demands of Uni life and what not? I wrestled back and forth with my responses and when I got to the bottom of it all I realized I wasn’t scared of tasks itself but what everyone else would think while I was going about them. That’s a terrible reason to do anything and it was exactly the reason I had no peace in my soul. Clearly my heat was not into the “Lets be a Uni student” thing. I want to be a filmmaker. I’m not saying this is the right path for every young filmmaker and who knows, I might end up in film school or a formal class room setting once again but for now, I’m working 36 hours a week as a shift leader at a ice cream shop and producing a steampunk feature film.
After struggling so deeply with everything its the little triumphs that keep me going. My plan is to treasure them from now on. The successful collaboration of two artists on a one sheet concept, the bringing about of one serious guerilla transmedia marketing campaign (#FindTheLostGirl cough cough)for one of the coolest comic conventions out there (DRAGON*CON 2011 PEOPLE, WOHOOOOOO!) and managing to get off caffeine and learn to laugh at myself more. I get to add bangin’ non-traditional photoshoot to the list of “Making It” moments as well.
I love my work, and its work, lots and lots of it but sweltering in the hot summer sun next to a female lead with bruised face wearing four layers of clothes sprawled out on a park bench I realized, this is what I really love to do. Ok not torture relatively innocent teenage girls even though I’m pretty sure my female lead Stephanie would argue otherwise Its that weird off-ish charm that a life of filmmaking offers. When odd becomes the norm pretty much any little conversation you end up having on set leaves some sorta smile on your face (“Those boots are too big”"Yeah well I made them in my garage with road kill.”) These are the little things that pretty much make my day, brushing aside the weariness, and mental fatigue. I have friends who get me, and are willing to lend their amazing talents to bring something amazing about but its not just their ability to produce awesomeness but their dead-on honesty(APRYL: MJ there’s a difference between being confident and having an attitude.”) that both provokes me as filmmaker but also as a person.
Don’t sweat the little stuff, take it all in, learn, and apparently write it down in a nifty quote book. Yes Apryl, I did notice. Onward and Upward! Can’t wait to continue to bring you guys the latest and greatest in my little “Making It Moments.” Bring it on World.